Writing doesn't seem like the hard part anymore.

Okay so...I've written my first, full length manuscript (I'd love to call it a novel but...it's still in Word format on my computer). To Myself: "It's not a novel yet Sugarpuss, you've only just begun." Painful? Yes. Necessary? Yes. I must keep myself grounded and not get lost in the fantasy of instant gratification that I know isn't coming. I have a long road ahead and I'd like to share it with anyone who'll join me. After all...this one may never meet toner and binding, or feel the weight of it's brothers and sisters stacked one on top of the other en route to Barnes and Noble. Sure, I think it's phenomenal, my 3 (carefully chosen and top secret) "guinea pigs" think it's ridiculously good but, we aren't the ones who count now are we? I need an agent to think it's that good, to sell it to a publisher and editor who also think it's that good. I suppose the exercise forces me to separate myself from the art and passion of my writing and nail down the dirty little details that make or break any author's career. Hell, I've contemplated sending myself some rejection letters...just to get prepped. I've spent countless hours crying (don't tell anyone tee-hee....you see, I'd rather eat shards of glass than admit to crying but, I'm going to be painfully honest in my blogs), typing, deleting, researching, scheming and sweating. I've poured my all into it, setting aside laundry, sleep, hunger, yard work, riding bikes with the kids, paying any sort of attention to my husband, making money, and cooking full meals (except on the weekends). Hamburger & Tuna helper own my pantry and I didn't even get a Christmas Card from that freaky little white glove. Oh, and surface cleaning...I'm a pro now. The book shelves in the living room might look clean just...don't pick up the vases or picture frames on top of them. Those nifty little Swiffers get around EVERYTHING! I'm also trying to juggle my writing with the pre-production of a documentary that I already wrote, and actually have a production company interested in. It's the little things like calling numerous people, hunting down the interviews, getting quotes and verifying information....for the tenth time. You should have been at my house the night my (might be future) producer came over for dinner...he wanted to meet my kids. (Only because he doesn't have any). They thought he was like Batman without the mask or something, it was quite comical. They each had a list of questions about their favorite movies and how said movies were made. He 's truly angelic, in a quirky, 'Willy Wonka' sort of way, and was quite indulgent with them. He enjoyed story time with the kids so much that he ended up sitting at my breakfast table until one A.M. discussing our business. (Yes Mark, I'm talking about you. As if I have so many producers over for dinner.) Anyway, the novel-to-be is done now. It's done & I'm in love with it. Of course I can always find a sentence that could be edited in one way or another, who doesn't? (Don't answer that, for my ego's sake...I'm saying please.) I even have the next two books in the series outlined. I'll start writing #2 this weekend. Hey...don't laugh all I said was that I'd 'start'. After #2 is complete I'll either start on #3 or, move onto my next project ~she sighs~ a paranormal romantic thriller series that is all but in black and white because, it's stuck inside of my head. If only I'd been gifted with an extra set of digits...what I could accomplish. I've written the short stories for them, covering all the basics. I'm biting my nails off to dig into it. Oh, who am I kidding? My nails are long gone, I now have ten little bald guys thumping away at the keyboard. I suppose it is easier to type that way. So, what now? I know...yet, I don't know. My query letter and synopsis are complete. I've got a wish list of agents that I'm anxious yet, terrified and still not prepared, to send my first queries off to. I know that I need to get copyrights filed. I know that I need (and want) to join the RWA and a local writing club or two. I'm really anxious for the RWA and the writing clubs. From what I hear they're beyond beneficial...they're enjoyable and people make a lot of friends, not to mention contacts. I know that I really need to fatten up my bio. Damn it, I can't put the "Deer Hunter" down, as I wrote and illustrated it when I was four years old. Hell, I can't even use my documentary until the production co. finds the people willing to put the money into it; making it and giving me a listed 'credit' for the writing. I'm slowly finding a balance between being mommy, wife, friend, domestic goddess (hardly), and aspiring writer. Note that I said 'finding' balance. My very best gal pal since high school, (which you'll hear about often.) Julie, called me last night and said, "Are you avoiding me or something? I just told Cheri (another of our gal pals) that you're not talking to me and I'm starting to get a complex!" I assured her that I wasn't intentionally avoiding her and then slapped myself on the hand for hurting her feelings. Then, while I was writing this, my twelve (and a half) year old daughter called from the football game, ready to be picked up (along with three friends) so, my husband just took off after them in the mini van. My three year old wants Spongebob Squarepants on again and my neighbor Mindy (another gal pal) called to tell me that my son and her son, both seven years old, were done playing Transformers and he was walking back to the house soon. I'm headed out to the front yard to meet him...be back in a sec. Okay...I'm back. So, that's about the gist of it...balance, combined with motivation and a plan. That's it, in my opinion, and who am I anyway? *German accent with pinkie lifted to corner of my mouth*: "You silly little truffle." About the plan...I have a plan...except for the part about fattening up my bio. I love to write. I started this blog to write, and hope others will join me. I look forward to hearing from writers at ALL stages...the virgins; the ones who've written professionally for years and need an agent and a deal, or have the agent but, they're waiting for the deal; and of course...the ones who have been there done that and can give us ALL advice. Speaking of advice...I'd like a little if anyone out there has a few pointers for me. How do I land small gigs here and there? Again...I love to write, did I mention that I love to write? Oh...sorry, anyway, I would be happy with the little jobs. If that's all that God deems fit for my future then so be it, though we all know what I would be really happy with a book deal...the icing on the cake. Even many published writers hold day jobs folks. Okay...that's it. I'm following my dreams and hoping that my husband doesn't divorce me in the process. You know the saying about the light at the end of the tunnel...I just hope mine isn't a train...I'm sort of stuck in the tunnel right now. We all have the write to blog but, I'm blogging to write. Sincerely, (yes, even the part about me crying) -J.M. Crawford